I “saw in” the New Year in front of the TV watching comedy.
Felt like a Grinch about the New Year. What’s the point? What’s so great about what is essentially just another day? Whether you do or you don’t Life does whatever it will. Didn’t want to hear any of the wishes and hopes. Thinking about the past and focussing on the negatives.
Woke up in the morning and decided:- Not doing it, not feeling it, not celebrating the New Year. Felt a yearning to go for a long walk so I did. Unbeknownst to them, some friends sent me encouraging text messages which I read at the end of my walk. Those messages revived me.
2018 was different to what I expected it to be. Did not turn out as planned at all. As I unpicked the sadness of the year, I realised there has been much more happiness and light than I perceived. I travelled to many more places. Visiting Venice was a highlight because I had dreamt of going as a child. It had always been this mystical romantic place my parents went to for their honeymoon. The streets are under water. I beg your pardon? For me, unfathomable at any age. As I got older, I never made plans to visit. Weird, but it seemed out of reach and then finally, in March, I was there for a weekend. Perhaps I did not want to be disappointed by the lofty esteem in which I held the city. It was everything I expected it to be and more. City does not sleep. People were up until 3am having Aperol Spritzs and loud conversations. A YOLO friend who is more of a sister than a friend surprised me with a visit to Australia. I got to live with friends, not just weekend or sleep overs but stay for months. Now, isn’t that a dream we all wish as children that we could live in a big house with all our friends and family and have never ending fun? I learnt French in Switzerland. Still not fluent but to learn about the language and culture was a real treat. Do not say Bonne nuit until you actually mean to go to bed. Until then it is Bon Soir. Don’t be offended by French people’s perpetual disdainful look. They are really sweet marshmallow-lined and full of hugs and kisses. They just don’t enjoy their language being mangled. Also, they are always thinking of a new revolution. Hence, the strikes. They love an industrial strike! Goodness! If there is even a whiff of a potential disruption to the life of workers, they are off. A supermarket postulated that online shopping could change the way the company operates. Before the ink was dry, supermarket workers went on strike.
I could go on and on and on about the highlights of the year. I would like to but then I would never end. Watching Marvel films with true believers. Little Sister moving back to Melbourne. Travelling around America, Europe and Australia. Living in a home with space surrounded by tranquility. Ex-students parents getting in touch to update me about “my boys”. There were little things, there were big things. One big year of feeling loved and special. I better stop.
As I lived 2018, it felt like a good year. It actually felt like my best year so far. So many moments that were incredible. For some reason, on the 30th of December, I thought about what should have been and felt robbed and disappointed. Dwelling on that one disappointment almost clouded the whole beautiful year. There are some seriously wonderful things that have happened that I am grateful for and can’t explain. Why me? Why so generous? How did I happen on…? I accept those and so I also accept the hurtful and chose to move on. Can’t change the past, can’t fix the present or predict the future. I do know that 2018 turned out to be better than I planned. Immeasurably more than I could have imagined or dreamt of.
So on Old Year’s Night, I laughed and enjoyed the camaraderie of family and friends displayed in Mrs Browns Boys. Watched The Royal Variety Show and for the first time realised and appreciated the charity that it supports. The first hour of the New Year was spent with Graham Norton and guests enjoying his irrepressible wit and humour.
It is now New Year’s Day and I have communicated with some of my loved ones. It fascinates me that I am well into my day and my friends are half a day away from my day.
Brand New Year. I am excited. Together with my friends and family, it will be a meaningful and memorable year.
There’s a popular song which “hopes it’s a good year without any tears”. Tears are inevitable. Emotions are part of life. It will be a good year, the best yet as a couple of friends firmly believe.
So for 2019, yes, I have a few goals but ultimately I want to enjoy every day and live my golden life.
Happy Gregorian New Year to you with lots of hopes and wishes sprinkled on top.